- "A man can dream can't he?"
- ―Wowbagger, whenever someone points out the impossibilities of fulfilling his self-appointed goal.
Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged is a tall grey-green alien humanoid of unidentified species who achieved immortality as a result of an outlandish accident which hasn't been replicated since, despite numerous attempts to do so.
In order to cope with his newfound immortality, Wowbagger decided to give his infinite life a purpose and travel all over the universe insulting every single being in it, in alphabetical order.
Appearance[edit | edit source]
While his species is unknown, Wowbagger is described as peculiarly alien in appearance, with a tall stature, pale grey-green skin with a lustrous shine to it, thin and spindly hands, a flattened head and slit-shaped small eyes. He also wears an extravagant golden robe and travels in a silver-colored spaceship with an elongated design.
Biography[edit | edit source]
Wowbagger achieved immortality in freakish accident involving an "irrational particle accelerator", a pair of rubber bands and a liquid lunch. At first, he enjoyed this new condition and took advantage of it to take several physical and financial risks. As the years passed, however, the boredom caught up with him, especially on Sunday afternoons, which he came to intensely despise.
At some point, it also seems that Wowbagger attempted to socialize with other immortals, but soon grew on to hate them as well due to their serenity and the fact that, having been born immortal, unlike him, they instinctively knew how to cope with it.
Gradually, Wowbagger became a misanthrope and harbored an intense hatred of the Universe and everyone in it, to the point that, when he decided to find a purpose in life, the idea immediately occurred to him. He decided to insult every single being in the universe, personally, individually, and in alphabetical order - a task both strangely fulfilling and absurd enough to keep him busy for all of eternity.