The Helians are an species from the planet of Helios.
History[]
The Helians are headquartered on Helios where stands the Temple of the Five Winds. While they portray themselves as galactic beggars, the reality of it is far more sinister. Thousands of years ago the Helians of Helios discovered a creature that could absorb all the radio waves in the galaxy. When properly converted into a being that would be called Tiresias, they Helians found they could tap into these waves, and literally monitor everything that happened into the galaxy. They imprisoned it and force it to continue to grow so they could use it to collect as much information everywhere. To conceal their nature, the Helians created the Collectors an order of panhandlers to avoid scrutiny.
Culture[]
The Collectors believe that there are five winds: North wind, South wind, East wind, West wind, and the Hoo Past wind. The last is said to be a mythical wind that blows from the farthest reaches of the Galaxy; the wind that is invisible and proceed by stealth. Usually on a myriad worlds, when a faint noise is heard and there is a disturbance in the air there is ritual cry known as "Hoo Past wind?" followed by "It wasn't me."
The Collectors are a reclusive group that claim to shun the materiel world, preferring to travel the planet of Helios on foot with their small earthen bowls. These devotees prefer to beg for alms and commit their lives to learning the mysterious Way of Kerching (though to be named after the sound of coin hitting a collecting bowl).
According to their beliefs the Way of Kerching teaches them that all conflict is illusion. That the Galaxy is an illusion, even the planet that they walk on is an illusion. To become a true Collector, one must steadfastly follow the Highway of Fuzzy Logic
Throughout Collector history there are figures that once started out as apprentices before embarking on the Highway of Fuzzy Logic and becoming Master:
- Master Collector Offkeee, who played the accordion and sand songs in an excruciating voice until people paid him to go away
- Master Collector Freeloda who gate-crashed parties and cleaned them out of food and drink before begging for cab fare home.
- Master Collector Frawdster, who collected vast amounts of money for charity, without revealing to the donors that his first name was Charity.
Apprentice Collectors wear robes of pink, while Masters wears robes of black.
Begging Chants of the Apprentice Collectors
- "Sum, Sum, sum.": For those that have attained wisdom
- "Yum, yum, yum.": For asking for food
- "Erm, ahm, um.": The Chant of the Hesitant Beggar
Appearances[]
- Outernet Book 3: Odyssey by Steve Barlow