Blancmanges are sapient pastries native to the planet Skyron in the Galaxy of Andromeda.


Unlike those of Earth, Blancmanges of Skyron are commonly of an enormous size. They are also fully sapient, capable of flying spaceships and having a fondness for tennis.


After one such Blancmange was made by a married couple from the planet, it apparently escaped, stealing a flying saucer and flying it to Earth, specifically England. For reasons unknown, the Blancmange was determined to win the world Tennis series, for which England was renowned. To do this, it proceeded to turn the majority of England's population into Scotsmen, prompting them to begin wearing kilts, playing bagpipes, and quickly overpopulating Scotland.

The Blancmange also contacted a Scottish kiltmaker, requesting an order of 48,000,000 kilts to be delivered to Andromeda. Due to financial troubles (having sold only nine and a half kilts the previous year) the kiltmaker accepted rather than inform the police. Consequently, the Blancmange ate his wife. This was initially blamed on Jack Riley, a Blancmange impostor and cannibal, only for the man investigating the case to be eaten as well.

For a time, the Blancmange came very close to winning Wimbleton in the world series, but was only stopped when the couple who had made it arrived on the field with spoons and began eating it, leaving the Scottish kiltmaker to become the first Scotsman to win Wimbleton.

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