The Animals are an extragalactic collection of anthropomorphic animals that inhabit the fourth planet of a tiny system, locked in brutal civil war for millions of "eclipses" until they decided to settle their differences with sports resembling American football.
Biology[]
Animals, true to their name, resemble anthropomorphic versions of Earth animals, mammalian, reptilian, and avian alike, such as bears, lions, giraffes, foxes, rhinos, alligators, parrots, various breeds of dogs, and more, even dinosaurs such as tyrannosaurus rexes. Despite this, they are referred to and treated as one species, possibly implying that they all share common ancestors or are otherwise closely related, and multiple individuals of each animal type exist. Also despite their incredibly divergent phenotypes, all Animals bear at least a roughly humanoid stance, the most humanoid being mammalians, and all appear very durable, capable of surviving countless injuries that would certainly kill a Human, including being launched into space without any protective equipment, and are able to regenerate from being cut apart or burned. Their diets presumably depend on what type of animal they resemble, as do their strength levels.
Culture and society[]
Animal society is divided into two distinct factions, known as Biters and Slashers, who are hostile to each other. While first using traditional warfare to battle for power, both factions currently use an annual series of sports in place of warfare, referred to as simply "The Game." The Game itself strongly resembles American football, from uniforms and positions to ball type and scoring method, but appears far lighter with its rules, as players are known to practically fight each other in the field without being penalized. While the names of each factions implies that their members prefer to bite and slash prey respectively, both carnivorous and herbivorous Animals have been seen on either side, implying that they are simply political factions and membership does not rely on one's diet or type. Despite the perpetual conflict, the Animals appear to have a planetary government, and have a planetary anthem, which is to the tune of "The Star-Spangled Banner."
Animals tell time in terms of moons and eclipses, the former equivalent to days while the later is implied to be equivalent to a millennium, with the winners of The Game being granted control of the government until the next eclipse. General Animal culture, clothing, and aesthetics resemble that of the United States, with their language being identical to English, and Animals are known to keep presumably non-sapient creatures as pets, preferring a breed of Human-like creatures referred to as hairless apes, and tiny semi-sapient insectoids. Strangely, criminal punishments for assault and bribery among Animals can include "20 years of lethal injections," implying that it would take such massively high doses to kill an Animal, or that they are slowly tortured to death. Animals also appear to know of Humans, or at least of Human-like aliens, who appear in Animal Cheap Light Beer commercials.
Technology[]
Animal technology appears to at least be on the same level as Earth in the early 2000s, although they have no known spacefaring capabilities.
Appearances[]
- Animal Wars (2000)