Blancmange



Blamanges are sentient pastries native to the planet Skyron in the Galaxy of Andromeda.

Physiology
Unlike those of Earth, Blamanges of Skyron are commonly of an enormous size. They are also fully sentient, capable of flying spaceships and having a fondness for tennis.

History
After one such Blamange was made by a married couple from the planet, it apparently escaped, stealing a flying saucer and flying it to Earth, specifically England. For reasons unknown, the Blamange was determined to win the world Tennis series, for which England was reknowned. To do this, it proceeded to turn the majority of England's population into Scotsmen, prompting them to begin wearing kilts, playing bagpipes, and quickly overpopulating Scotland.

The Blamange also contacted a Scottish kiltmaker, requesting an order of 180,000 kilts to be delivered to Andromeda. Due to financial troubles (having sold only nine and a half kilts the previous year) the kiltmaker accepted rather than inform the police. Consequently, the Blamange ate his wife. This was initially blamed on Jack Riley, a Blamange imposter and cannibal, only for the man investigating the case to be eaten as well.

For a time, the Blamange came very close to winning Wimbleton in the world series, but was only stopped when the couple who had made it arrived on the field with spoons and began eating it, leaving the Scottish kiltmaker to become the first Scotsman to win Wimbleton.